Why I Hate Adi

By the way, happy birthday, Adi!

Good, now that that's out of the way, I can move on to the point of this post. Ahem. Four score and seven years ago, a great war erupted between the evil hanini_panini and the cute innocent little skysquirrel. The terrible war, which often involved nuclear weaponry, rages fiercely on to this day, kind of like Adi's house, which is on fire right now. (Word of advice Adi, check your birthday candles before you light them to make sure they're actually candles, not sticks of TNT.) Anyways. In a feeble and ill-planned attempt to palliate the situation, the corrupt Judge Adi sentenced Hannah and I to 72 hours of not insulting each other, with the penalty of writing a 300 word essay about the opponent's good qualities if one should fail to not insult your opponent. Naturally, this directive is about as possible as trying to hike up Mt. McKinley and back in 72 hours, trying to swim at 65 miles per hour (104 kilometers per hour) through peanut butter, trying to keep 30 college boys in a dorm and tell them to not get drunk and not poo in the showers, trying to eradicate communism in a way that puts McCarthy to shame, trying to eat a pizza and three large rocks in one bite, trying to swallow fire, trying to get 100% on your calculus final exam, trying to swallow fire while getting a 100% on your calculus final exam, being accepted into every single Ivy League school with full scholarships, and trying to not hate Adi, all at once. Not very possible, is it, especially if it's around two in the morning? So, um, yeah. Here's the stupid penalty. 300 words about Hannah's good points. Here goes the impossible.